5 Tips to Help You Become a Better Caregiver
Caregiving can be a difficult task, but also the most rewarding. I was a caregiver to my late husband for over 20 years and I wouldn’t have had it any other way, but I wish that I would have done some things differently. I think like many of us we can look back on circumstances in our lives and see the things that we could have done better. I want to share with you the things I learned about being a caregiver that will hopefully help you in some way.
Here are the 5 things that I learned about being a better caregiver.
1. Be flexible
Life happens. No one wants to get sick. No one plans on getting sick and I am sure that if they had their choice, they wouldn’t be sick. In my experience, illness comes at the most inopportune times. I cannot tell you the number of vacations that had to be rescheduled, the holidays, and special occasions that were missed because of an emergency room visit and a hospital stay. I wish that I would have just remembered that air flights can be rescheduled and that holidays are just a day and can be celebrated anytime. Being flexible takes the stress off of you as the caregiver which also removes the stress off of your loved one.
2. Be Patient
Patience is something that I struggle with in normal times but it was an even more difficult struggle when my late husband was sick. I expected things to be a certain way and when they were not, I lost my patience. I cannot tell you how many times our plans were interrupted due to Mike having a fever, which sent us to the emergency room. I anxiously paced while we waited for our name to be called. There were many times I would sit and ask “WHY?” Why is this happening? Why can’t life just be normal and uneventful? I wish that I would have taken a deep breath and asked the more productive question “What am I supposed to learn from this?” I realize now that my anxiousness more than likely caused Mike to feel anxious as well. Be Patient!!! The loved one that you are caring for will feed off your energy. If you are anxious, they will be too. Remember, this too shall pass!!!
3. Be Present
Hindsight is 20/20. If I only knew 5 ½ years ago what I know now, I certainly would have spent more time being present. I would have worried less about work, daily stresses, and what might happen. I would have just enjoyed the conversations with Mike, spent less time on my phone and worried less about what the future held.
Take the time to really be present. Listen to listen, don’t listen to respond. Your loved one knows if you are really paying attention to them or if you have 1000 things running through your mind. Dedicate the time you have with them, to them. They will feel loved and you will have made some wonderful memories to look back on as time moves forward.
4. Pray
Understanding that you don’t need to carry the entire act of caregiving on your own, is huge. I spent much of my time being angry with God for what He was putting Mike and our family through. I wish that I would have spent more time praying. Asking God for help, strength, and guidance, to be the best caregiver I could be to Mike. I wish that would not have tried to lean on my own understanding. Having a few choice bible verses that you can memorize and recite during difficult times would be very helpful.
5. Be Grateful
Anthony Robbins has always said “You can’t be grateful and fearful at the same time.” I wish that I would have spent more time being grateful for what I had, even if it was sitting in a hospital room, as opposed to thinking about all of things I didn’t have or all of the things that I was missing out on. Gratitude is an amazing thing!! When you make it a daily practice, it will change your life, especially during the season of caring for a loved one.
Becoming a caregiver to a loved one can be such a blessing. You have the opportunity to spend so much quality time with your loved one. Let them know that they are loved and that you are happy to be there for them. This makes them feel important, and supported and that they matter.
