"You have to keep going

I remember vividly the Thursday before Michael died.  He was in a hospital in our hometown. He had been hallucinating all night.  He was working hard to save people that were not there. 

I remember sitting next to his hospital bed holding his hand and trying to comfort him.  He seemed to be in and out of lucidity. 

At one point in time, he squeezed my hand and looked into my eyes, and said " You have to keep going! You have to keep going!" 

I said " Of course! We will get you through this and I will keep going!"  I had no idea what I was agreeing to. 

That afternoon Michael was airlifted to University Hospital in Indianapolis.  And passed away 4 days later. 

I now understood what he was saying.  He wanted to make sure that I would keep going after he was gone. 

That first year was a blur.  I remember coming up with a 2-prong approach.  One was to make sure that Seth had a stellar high school career and the other was to ensure that I kept Hello Gorgeous! going. 

I felt so overwhelmed that first year.  I remember stumbling onto a blog called One Fit Widow.  At the bottom of her website, it stated " You are Still Here for a Reason” Those words were so impactful to me.  I wrote them on a big post-it note and taped it to my bedroom door.  I looked at that note every morning and every evening for 4 1/2 years.  I needed to be constantly reminded that I was still here for a reason.

I did not realize how hard it would be to keep my promise to keep going, but we did it. 

I feel that part of the success that Seth and I have experienced is that we stayed on task.  We implemented the path that Mike had set out for us. 

Seth is doing an amazing job!!  He graduated from high school with honors and received a scholarship to bowl at a Catholic University. He is now a sophomore in college.

We are getting ready to enter the 17th year of Hello Gorgeous! And have expanded our online resources to reach even more women battling cancer.

And I have a wonderful man in my life that loves and cherishes me. 

Philippians 1:6 says

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

Let this be a reminder to you that you are still here for a reason!!  God is not done with you yet!!!!  Keep praying, and keep persevering!!! You are truly stronger than you think you are!!!